If I were a bird, I would be: A mocking bird.
If I were a body part, I would be: The hands?
If I were a car, I would be: An 18-wheeler.
If I were a cartoon character, I would be: Larry Boy! (I! AM! THAT! HERO!)
If I were a color, I would be: Dark green.
If I were a day of the week, I would be: Any day but Saturday.
If I were a direction I, would be: South.
If I were a facial expression, I would be: A sly smile.
If I were a fictional character from book, film or otherwise, I would be: A dwarf in the glory days of Moria.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: I don't know the name of the flower I'm thinking of!
If I were a food, I would be: Beefy pinwheels.
If I were a historical figure, I would be: Stonewall Jackson.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: A huge thunderhead.
If I were a liquid, I would be: Mercury
If I were a machine, I would be: A shotgun shell reloader.
If I were a material, I would be: Canvas.
If I were a method of death, I would be: Good heavens! An A-bomb I guess.
If I were a month, I would be: April or May.
If I were a movie, I would be: "Samuel Bavido: A man for his time", the documentary by A&E about me that will be made in 40 years.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: A cathedral pipe organ.
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: A dragon.
If I were a number, I would be: 3.14....
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: A bed.
If I were a place, I would be: The Okanogan Valley.
If I were a religion, I would be: Samuelism.
If I were a shape, I would be: A sphere.
If I were a sin, I would be: Do I really want to answer that one? Nope, I don't think so!
If I were a song, I would be: 800 Pound Jesus.
If I were a sound, I would be: The sound of a sizemick charge from Star Wars.
If I were a stone, I would be: Basalt.
If I were a subject in school, I would be: History.
If I were a taste, I would be: Sour.
If I were a time of day, I would be: Late afternoon.
If I were a tool, I would be: A cordless screw gun.
If I were a tree, I would be: An elm.
If I were a vegetable, I would be: A tomato.
If I were a word, I would be: parvis.
If I were an animal, I would be a: A turtle.
If I were an element, I would be: Hydrogen.
If I were an emotion, I would be: Mixed.
If I were an object, I would be: A galaxy.
If I were an RI'er apart from myself, I would be: James.
If I were a light bulb, I would be: A 60 watt.