WOW! The other day I was down at the beach and I got to thinking "Can you believe that I'm walking down a beach, listening to Chinese music, wondering if that peice of metel is from a land mine, on a small island from which I can see mainland China?!?!"

God's ways are so much higher than our ways. Two years ago, if you had told me where I would be today, I would have laughed at you. But it's so perfect. I love this place. I love the people. I love my students. I love the dorm kids here at the Jr. high where we live. I love the old man who sells clam soup around town and always yells at the top of his lungs and smiles when he sees us. I love our church. I love the food. I love the small alleys I walk down on my way eat "hot pot" at the tenth floor (the tallest building in Kinmen). I love teaching my kids the only card trick I know and then watching them show it to their friends.

This place has taken a greater hold on me in a shorter time than anything else ever has. I am not capable of this love I have. It's totally a God thing.

This place breaks my heart. I've cried over it almost every day the past week. When you see people wailing and following a funeral parade on Easter Sunday morning, you have to cry. When you see a 7th grader you've come to love smoking and trying to hide from you, you have to cry. When you realize that you dear friend Douglas is headed for hell, you have to cry. When you see children left at a school dorm while their parents work on the mainland, you have to cry.

This place makes me laugh. When you're playing "Apples to apples" and your team leader gets the cards "Useless", "pathetic", "naive" and "dead", you have to laugh. When a kid tries to give you the finger and doesn't know which one to use, you have to laugh. When college students drive by on their mo-peds and yell "hello!", just to prove that they know some English, you have to laugh. When one of your students comes up to you with a huge grin on her face and says "I'm angry!" because you took her picture, you have to laugh. When Moody didn't undestand the the word "half" and you ended up with two pizzas instead of one, you have to laugh. When you say "I don't understand: sorry" in Chinese and Taiwanese and the old lady on the bus starts jabbering at you about how good it is that you said something in Taiwanese, you have to laugh. When James losses his voice and makes a marker board to talk to you with, you have to laugh.

This place makes me pray. When you can't get a student to even look at you, you have to pray. When your team mate can barely walk because of a hurt foot, you have to pray. When you have no idea what you're going to teach in class, you have to pray. When you feel like you're going to explode from the stress of everything that is expected of you from your 3 different bosses (and millions of friends!), you have to pray. When you can't understand the laungage, you have to pray.

This place makes me praise. When you pray that God will help us to talk to TIm and then he calls one of us within half an hour to arrange a meeting, you have to praise God. When you stay up till 1 o'clock with BJ and Ginger talking and praying about you classes and then every single prayer you lifted up is answered within twelve hours, you have to praise God. When you see Bekah walking down the street without even limping, you have to praise God. When you God gives you the chance to talk to James about spiritual matters for over an hour, you have to praise him. When you can understand something said in Chinese, you have to praise God.

The is no way to describe what this is like. There is no words to describe how I feel. The love, joy, sorrow and stress mixed together, all combined to force you to lean on God.

Hey, I've created a blogger for my pictures. No need to bookmark it or check it...any time I post pictures to it I'll post a link on here.

Whoa du pictures!

What do you do when somebody you love is hurting themselves and you can't even talk to them? How do you express that deep, horrible pain you feel? What do you do when they run away from you, and when you finally corner them, they just keep telling you it's no big deal and everything will be fine?

What do you do when people you love are changing for the worse and you don't even know how to yell "You're too good for those guys! Why do you have to hang out with them?" How do you reach out to people abandoned by their parents and help them grow up when all they can understand is "Are you ok?"

I love these kids so much. And I hate to see them doing stuff I know they will wish they hadn't.

Last nigth we caught Big Angel smoking. I felt liking just sitting down and crying. Kelly is starting to hang out with some of the wrong crowd. Allan has really gotten into some bad stuff: I'm not sure what. I'm just feeling really depressed about these kids. They are each so precious and special.

Sometimes I feel so powerless. I can't even talk to them, and even if I could, what would I say? I feel like screaming and crying at the same time.

"Jesus wept." I wonder if he ever felt like this...