What do you do when somebody you love is hurting themselves and you can't even talk to them? How do you express that deep, horrible pain you feel? What do you do when they run away from you, and when you finally corner them, they just keep telling you it's no big deal and everything will be fine?

What do you do when people you love are changing for the worse and you don't even know how to yell "You're too good for those guys! Why do you have to hang out with them?" How do you reach out to people abandoned by their parents and help them grow up when all they can understand is "Are you ok?"

I love these kids so much. And I hate to see them doing stuff I know they will wish they hadn't.

Last nigth we caught Big Angel smoking. I felt liking just sitting down and crying. Kelly is starting to hang out with some of the wrong crowd. Allan has really gotten into some bad stuff: I'm not sure what. I'm just feeling really depressed about these kids. They are each so precious and special.

Sometimes I feel so powerless. I can't even talk to them, and even if I could, what would I say? I feel like screaming and crying at the same time.

"Jesus wept." I wonder if he ever felt like this...